Everything is really tidy. I did laundry and grocery shopped and even vacuumed. There are no dirty dishes, no laundry laying on my floor. My desk is organized into little piles, my bed is made. Sitting on my bed, I suddenly feel sort-of grown up. It’s a rather strange feeling, and I’m not sure I like it. Although at the same time, it’s almost invigorating. I think I’m almost ready to be an adult… which is a good thing I suppose, since it’s coming whether or not I want it to.

I am crossing my fingers that Ashlee doesn’t have to get surgery until I come home, but that probably won’t actually happen. It’ll be weird thinking of her in the hospital while I’m not even in the country. When she went to the Crazy Bin, I visited her… I’ve pulled cuts together for her, when she went off to rehab I mailed her weekly letters. I’ve gone to countless NA Meetings with her, I give her approval on potential girlfriends, I buy her cigarettes sometimes. She’s had tons of surgeries before, and this just seems like an addition of insult to injury. I feel bad that I can’t be there, and I know I’m just going to be in the dark and worried about it, which is worse that knowing all the details and being worried. It reminds me of Freshman year when I’m pretty sure I mind-willed her to call me.

Finally I am getting back into the swing of things, and getting the hang of how they do Lithography here. Oh, it really is wonderful. It makes me wonder why I ever doubted being a print major. It’s still strange not being on a strict schedule, but I’m beginning to be productive again, which is really what I need. And in a week I leave for London, and then for Ireland. And then I’ll start planning on little trips to the Highlands for myself, and things will be great. I’m really looking forward to seeing Elizabeth and Franz and getting a glimpse of Ireland. It’ll be really, really nice seeing some friendly, familiar faces.

Sunday at 11 I really think I might go to the Sandyford Church.

Also, I think I should start getting more sleep, but it’s difficult for some reason or another.